The Pranks We Play

The Rundown

Sometimes known as hazing, these are some of the pranks that I have either seen played on new sailors or heard of. Now, on the subject of hazing, there is malicious hazing which as far as I am concerned should get you sent to mast, and then there is playful hazing which is more about bonding of the crew. There is a line, and it is different for each person. The skill is recognizing where this line is and not crossing it.

The Pranks

  • We had an ET2 get stuck on the bridge wing with a pair of binoculars for a couple of hours searching for the mail buoy once. The remarkable thing wasn’t having to search for the mail buoy, but the fact that he was an ET2. Apparently that joke went all the way up to the point where the XO was in on it (this was a CGN).
  • Sent many to E-div looking for the battery charger for the sound powered phones.
  • We’d send noobs into Manuevering to find Echo-5 for their sub quals, which was the nick name of our RO’s gigantic cock, and boy did he love to show it off.
  • Before I went to nuc school, I was on the USS Duluth in San Diego. She was an LPD with stern gate which would open and close to allowing landing craft to enter and exit. A common prank was to send someone to get the stern gate key. They would typically send you on a wild goose chase. One person would send you to another. My LPO, a guy named Hague, asked me to go get the key. He told me to get it from our chief, Chief Gonzalez. Well, I knew there was no such thing, so I went to the DCO, a mustang, and asked him for the key. He told me to go get Hague, which of course I did. I told Hague that I could not find Chief Gonzalez, so I went to the DCO, and the DCO wanted to see him. Ha! Hague was pretty pissed. Served him right. Ah, good times.
  • The SKs on Key West were tickled as shit when they discovered that the new computerized requisitioning system included and item labelled “Grease, Bearing, Military.” They couldn’t talk the Chop or Engineer into letting them order a can to give to NUBs who were sent to them on fools errands.

    The officers knew the joke was only good for one or two goes, and the XO knew he wasn’t going to be able to convince whoever determined these things that that particular type of grease was required on a 688-class submarine.

  • Ask M-div chief for true bearing grease.
  • One of the best was watching the planesman tell his underinstruction watch engage the cloaking device. The kid was looking until the DOOW slapped the planesman upside the head.
  • I got one of the guys to go ask the YN for an ID-Ten-T form.
    • Of course, you need one to get a can of A-1R.
  • Go ask M/A/TM Div for a Cutler Hammer.
  • Go to the Con and request permission to blow the DCA (when the DCA is on watch).
  • Topside instructor had a good one at orientation. He told his nub to go get a pair of OHO nuts from the office, didn’t know the OHO was in that day
  • Please go to the ERUL workbench and ask the watch for a large mechanic’s punch.
  • Go ask water control for the seachest keys so we can get the fish heads for the shaft seals.

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